by Carolyn Watkins
book review by Kate Robinson
“I quickly learned that military kids must be flexible.”
As an inspirational memoir and a tribute to military families, this picture book for middle-graders stands out with its down-to-earth reflections by the author and tender watercolor illustrations by Lindsey Erickson that evocatively enhance the nature of the text. Watkins’ honesty about her real-life experiences fosters readers’ ability to have fruitful parent-child discussions about these emotional matters of separation and possible loss. The author stresses that her family could have shared their feelings more: “Perhaps Mom and I could have talked more about our feelings. I have now learned that sharing feelings makes it much easier to cope with them.” Likely this is why her book includes notes for parents and educators in the end matter with questions, points to consider to bolster these necessary conversations, whether at home or in the classroom. This guidance could help children feel safe to express their feelings and work through any emotional difficulties caused by missing the absent military parent or by fearing for their life.
Children with working parents everywhere face significant challenges in modern life, but arguably none more so than children in military families, who face impermanence far more often and far more keenly than children in families whose parents and caretakers engage in other professions: “When I grew up in the 1960s, my family’s life was filled with departures and transfers and moves… Our dad was in the U.S. Army and was often away for long periods of time,” the author states. The many poignant images of Watkins’ family life and her strong storytelling voice amply illustrate the courage, persistence, and moral compass needed by homebound parents and relatives to maintain a stable household for kids when a parent is deployed to a faraway destination for extended duty, or when a family makes frequent moves to various military assignments.
The experiences and research of others lend additional weight to the ideas expressed in Watkin’s book. For example, poet and memoirist Dr. Nancy Owen Nelson, whose father was a career military man, describes her early years as “one of constant change and uncertainty,” and has explored in verse and prose how difficult patterns in adult life can be attributed to the constant movement of military families. And in a paper titled “Psychiatric Effects of Military Deployment on Children and Families,” authors James and Countryman (2012) cite “recent findings with deployed service members with children have shown problems with sleeping, higher stress levels and anxiety, declining grades, an increase in maladaptive child behaviors, and increased rates of child maltreatment.”
Watkins’ experience thankfully shows how supportive and strong her mother appears during her father’s deployment to Vietnam and during his long recovery after the family receives the dreaded knock on the door. Fortunately, in the Watkins family’s case, “the knock” was not a death announcement but notification of serious injury. While this was still a worrying and profound time, it was also a relief to family members because this meant their husband and father would eventually come home. Watkins’ narrative also effectively conveys how a supportive family network is forged when her maternal grandmother arrives to help out and how her presence solidifies the children’s security during her son-in-law’s deployment.
RECOMMENDED by the US Review